Michael Land

Wow, last updated 80 weeks ago? I only remembered I even had a livejournal because I googled my own name, haha. Time to delete all the ramblings of the past before somebody ELSE googles my name (as if). Anybody even still use this?

Just because Harrison Ford has an earring doesn't mean anybody should get one. I mean, if Harrison Ford was doing Calista Flockhart, would you? Decidedly not. I think he's going through an old-man-syndrome type thing, but the thing is, he isn't really that old. It's pathetic i think. I'm going to have my mid-life crises at ages 32 and 75, so it's less conspicuous.

Jarnurary 19, 06

I didn't drop german.
I didn't buy a chemistry book.
I went to calculus 3 class.
I napped from 11:30 til 2, watched Grounded For Life, watched that movie "Out Cold", which is alot funnier than I remember it being, watched Smallville, watched more TV, kindof argued with my mom, which sucks because she was just out to argue with me.
I hate biology and I hate stress, so being in medicine for a career or being a lawyer is almost unthinkable, but she thinks I should be one of the two.
Happiness would not be a result of such a career, and people in unhappy careers have unhappy lives.
She is such a jew.
Watched more TV.

That's basically the way most of my time goes.
That maxim that goes "waste not, want not" can't possibly apply to living life, can it? If so, it explains my want, but how do I prevent waste?

The BIG IDEA: I would like to be a talkshow host, or a radio DJ. That would be incredible.

January 18th, 2006 - 9:15 PM

Today was poor.
I awoke at 6:30 and attended class (Differential Equations 1, Chemistry 2, Calculus 3).
Upon arriving home at 11:30, I ate 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and a cup of tomato soup and have not eaten since.
I drink much water these days.
I have a doctor's appointment on Friday concerning my recent illness and painful chest aberations.
Today I play "Gimme One Reason" by Tracy Chapman on the guitar.
I cannot proficiently play the outro yet.
I did most of my calc 3 homework - that is, the problems I could not solve remain unfinished.
I have no doubt that there are errors in my work elsewhere, but I mind not.
I must make a playlist one of these days that reflects my current (that is, this part of my life) mood.
Saliva - Rest In Pieces shall be in that playlist.

Tomorrow, January 19

Absolutely no particular plans.
Going to the school to drop my german class at about 9am, buying a chemistry book sometime shortly after that, then going to my calc 3 class at 10am.
Perhaps I shall go to the mall and check out the music store, if I can find a ride.
My car is broken.
It may be the sparkplugs, or it may be the entire transmission.
I will stave off insanity with my best efforts tomorrow.
This year is not going well.
I must find an outlet!
If the energy finds me, I may clean my parent's garage.
I will watch Grounded For Life at 2PM, Smallville at 5PM, and my relatively new, yet healthy appetite of 2 hours of TV a day shall be satiated.
Farewell this night, may morning greet you warmly.

Footnote: I imagine, probably not incorrectly, that I am born out of my time. I belong in a much different era.

I got a job as an assistant debate coach at my old highschool here in Casper. I get to coach all my old friends, or in other words, i get to hang out with all my old friends and get paid for it! it's like a dream job! now i just need to work on not being so gloomy all the time.

december 31 was my sister's birthday and we saw "Rumor Has It..." with kevin costner and jennifer aniston.

that movie was bullshit. the message it got across was that for girls its ok to cheat in a relationship, because in the end, everything works out fine. i swear to god, if they switched the male and female roles in that movie, instead of women standing outside the theater after the movie saying "oh, i thought that was cute..." they would have said "man, what a pig! all men are assholes!"

society sucks like that.

i just woke up and i had a wicked awesome dream about being back in alaska. MAN it was awesome and i miss it.

i stacked two beds together and now my cat can't jump high enough to get on here to sleep. it's hilarious to watch him try.

6:00 PM ish - awoke

6:30 - ate dinner, watched TV, played WarioWare some more

10:00 - played Sonic Heroes, a game my brother got for christmas, with my brother.

10:20 - played a game of pool

10:40 - spoke with someone online for a while, then things became volatile, so the convo ended.

12:00am - about to watch Fantastic 4 and then some Titus. I believe i shall attempt to pull an 18 hour day, and go to bed at about noon tomorrow. fare thee well.

7:30 - talked to Travis for a bit.

9:00am - finished watching Fantastic 4 and 14 episodes of Titus. I may watch more Titus now, or Spiderman 2, or Star Wars Episode 2. Isn't christmas break FANTASTICAL?! I SAW THE SUNRISE!

i have a livejournal! weee oh my gosh!

50 Biggest U.S. Cities by population. - I'll Bold and Underline the Cities I've Been To

NYC, NY
LA, Ca
Chicago, Ill
Houston, Tex
Philadelphia, Pa
Phoenix, Ariz
San Diego, Ca
San Antonio, Tex
Dallas, Tex
San Jose, Ca
Detroit, Mich
Indianapolis, Ind
Jacksonville, Fla
San Francisco, Ca
Columbus, Ohio
Austin, Tex
Memphis, Tenn
---------------------This is where Alaska places when compared to these cities
Baltimore, Md
Fort Worth, Tex
Charlotte, N. Carolina
El Paso, Tex
Milwaukee, Wis
Seatlle, Wash
Boston, Mass
Denver, Co
Louisville-Jefferson County, Ky
Washington, DC
Nashville-Davidson, Tenn
Las Vegas, Nev
Portland, Ore
Oklahoma City, Okla
Tucson, Ariz
---------------------This is where Wyoming places when compared to these cities.
Albuquerque, N. Mex
Long Beach, Cal
New Orleans, La
Cleveland, Ohio
Fresno, Cal
Sacramento, Cal
Kansas City, Missouri
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Mesa, Ariz
Atlanta, Georgia
Omaha, Nebraska
Oakland, Cal
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Miami, Fla
Honolulu CDP, Hawaii
Minneapolis, Minn
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Arlington, Tex

Apparently, Alaska is now more populous than Wyoming, Vermont, and North Dakota, which makes it #47. I thought it was still #49.

may i feel said he
by e.e. cummings.

may i feel said he
(i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she


(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she


(let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she)


may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she


may i move said he
is it love said she)
if you're willing said he
(but you're killing said she


but it's life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she


(tiptop said he
don't stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she


(cccome?said he
ummm said she)
you're divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)

"[Naming a talent show a "Ghetto Talent Show"] is almost equivalent to saying, 'We're having bananas at Jose Marti Park' and referring to Miami as a 'Banana Republic,'" the Rev. Richard Dunn said.

"Watermelon, back in the days, was a good food for African Americans, according to the Bible, but at the same time, it had an attachment with slavery and bondage ties," the Rev. Carl Johnson said.

What in the hell is he talking about? This guy cannot possibly ever redeem himself in my eyes.

I went to the mall just now as I was dropping off various job applications and decided that I would take my $12.00 and buy a CD. I stopped in Sam Goody first. Immediately, I rescent any notion that I had of making a purchase. Mudvayne CDs hovered around 25 bucks. Red Hot Chili Peppers, 28 bucks. Incubus, 20 bucks. Virtually anything that wasn't a "Greatest Hits Collection" or a Frank Zappa album (he is the industry leader in number of albums released with a whopping 77 CDs) was far more than 12 dollars.

So I went down the hall to f.y.e., another music shoppe. Lo and behold, things were still outrageously priced, but what's this?! Mudvayne - The End of All Things To Come for only $11 dollars and 99 cents?! Joy of joys is what I felt in that instant, my friends! I had found something affordable and not shitty!

Then I felt a knife plunge into my lower abdomen. It caught several times during it's journey towards my spleen, each one a testament to either each one of many cerrations or several rust stains from previous stabbings. What was this knife doing in my gut, you ask? Simple answer to an all too obvious question. It was reminding me that there was a 5 percent sales tax, therfore raising the price to 13.65, not 11.99 as I was inclined and happy to believe.

I replaced the CD with its brothers, all identical copies priced at $20 for some reason, and after discarding the bloodied weapon whose blade had dwelt in my lower intestine for far longer than anything that solid should, I attempted to leave the store. I made my first steps away from the overpriced nightmare with great relief, yet greater sadness. The state of matters in that mall is hideous, and I could think of nothing more than forgetting the pain that had been caused to me by seductive yet confuddling pricing.

That's when the clerks jumped me. As ninjas they leapt from behind the service counter and between myself and the metal detectors. I was still bleeding heavily on their $1.19 per sq. ft. grey/blue pilon carpet, but that was the least of my problems for the time-being. These guys were underpaid, over-zealous, and uber-serious about their jobs.

As they advanced upon me my first reaction was to pity these poor creatures, each of which had spent every year since highschool wallowing in the despair of a dead-end job at the mall, but that feeling passed as quickly as the blood was passing from my stomach and through my fingers towards the aged and decrepit Napoleon Dynamite cardboard-fashioned DVD kiosk, which seemed to be dripping in the scent of mall-musk. My second reaction was far less instinctual and much more measured - I had to bullshit my way out of the store. I consider myself a well-versed and highly-practiced bullshitter, but my prowess in those few moments humbled even myself.

"Can I help you?" coming at me left and right, "Did you see the new releases? The new Backstreet Boys is only $9.99!" coming at my from the center. I deftly dodged these monotonous one-liners, obviously crafted only well enough to subdue lesser minds than my own, but as I advanced towards the electric guitar display at the front of the store, the passing of which would symbolize my freedom, out of the corner of my eye I saw a metallic glint. A mere nothing to anybody else, but to these tired and journeyed eyes of mine, it meant only one thing - Manager's Badge. I ducked behind a nearby do-rag bin to collect myself and to care to my injury, still oozing profusely onto the merchandise. I couldn't take on the manager with my organs flopping around outside my belly, but I didn't have long to work on it.

I took inventory of the immediate area: 50 or so copies of Now!19, hooks on the wall draped with various styled lanyards, a shelf of various items with a cover-all sign reading "All items here priced to go! $3 and lower!" and of course, about 100 do-rags directly behind me. Using these things, most especially with liberal application of Now!19 CDs, I stitched the wound and set up a diversion. I lept from behind the bin and my eyes were met with the jolly rotundness, yet fervent animosity of a mall manager.

My mind lept into action: "Good sir, I would like to purchase this lanyard for the advertised price of $2.99!" Poorly greased gears began to cog around behind his foggy eyes, which first lept towards the sign above the lanyards that read "$19.99", then to the bargain shelf with its own sign, then to the lanyard I proffered towards him in my hands. He began to stutter, as if about to explain that the price differed in his favor by 16 dollars, but before he could act, "I found it next to those "Hello, Kitty!" dolls on that shelf!" He sputtered in a defeated manner. I turned towards the Now! display. "You know what? On second thought, maybe I should look at those Now! CDs. Pop music rules!"

His relief was such that it radiated forth from his person, along with a most pungent body odor and loathe of young people. The spacing between the Now! CDs and the lanyard/bargain area was such that while the manager replaced all the lanyards (I had layed many among the PowerPuff Girls VHS tapes on the lowermost bargain shelf), I escaped quite easily, finding no more resistance on my way to the door. Apparently the employee faith in their management in f.y.e. was such that they had the utmost confidence that he could take me alone.

The moral of the story - Music's greed is only outweighed by the unfairness of sales tax.
Lucky numbers - 13 : 27 : 55 : 51 : 3 : 17 : 79 : 91

Only just after my trip to Houston did I get over the summer blues that I seem to be cursed with. I was content with nothingness, because nothingness left me to my own devices.

Today though, some friends of mine called and wanted to hang out at someone's house. "Wee," I thought. Seeing these people and talking and stuff put me into a certain mood of elation. I felt better than I had felt since summer even began. But halfway through the day, my mind just crashed. I sank further into depressing feelings than I could say I've ever gone. God knows what triggered it, I just sortof chilled out and detached myself from the people that were there.

Summer fucking SUCKS.

If I never have another summer vacation again so long as I shall live, I will be truly happy(er). oh SNAP! I GET AT LEAST THREE MORE! I'm going to die like this.

"In your previous life, you were a hamster named Vladimir. Here's what we know about you: Born on the plains of Siberia, you spent your early years weathering harsh winters, drinking vodka, and attending committee meetings. Determined and headstrong, you always got your way when push came to shove. But it wasn't all darkness — no one knew how to let loose and have a good time better than you. You were the reigning Twister champ, and you always emerged victorious from the Bolshevik's annual Dance-a-Thon (your signature step, the Funky Chicken, was a huge crowd pleaser). As you were also quite the health fanatic, you developed and patented a set of exercise wheel fitness videos that quickly became all the rage in Siberia. Your commercial success led you to denounce Communism and head for the States, where you ultimately provided the inspiration for a wacky Web site and song."

I thought it was spelled hampster, but I looked it up and it's right. They either mean an animal, or someone who's hammy or hams things up. The ability to dance was all used up in that life, as I have none whatsoever in this one.

Too bad I can't really blame my dancing ineptitude on that, isn't it? I could also get away with blaming my past life as a playboy on my lack of skill with girls.


Tickel tests. They tell me my IQ is that of a visionary philosopher, which tells me two things: first, I now know who to get in contact with if I should ever need some crack, and second, I now know who to get in contact with if I should ever need some crack.

Weird Movies I've Seen, and were ok, weird, but eh, I'd see them again.

Dancing at the Blue Iguana
Speedway Junkie
Zebra Lounge

All were technically (in my mind) B movies, but hey, that's not so bad all the time.

Nobody's ready to leave so we're going tomorrow. Lazy-ass punks.

Our route (we're driving (>/) is as follows:

Day 1 (Sunday)- Here to Cheyenne to Denver to maybe someplace on the way towards Kansas.
Day 2 (Monday)- Through some place in Kansas then to Oklahoma City, where we must stop for a little while.
Day 3 (Tuesday)- Oklahoma City to at least Dallas/Ft. Worth Texas, if not a little further.
Day 4 (Wednesday)- Where-ever to Houston. More specifically Angleton, a suburb of Houston.

That's probably a little tight for most people, but eh. We do alot of this for vacations. Speeding is not a problem. Also, If we postpone again I'll come back and change the days.

Returning home we have 3 options.

We may go to New Orleans, Louisiana, then through Little Rock, Arkansas, then back through Kansas.
Or through see the Alamo and go through Albuquerque, New Nexico, then cut north to Denver or Salt Lake City (I can't remember which one is directly north of Albuquerque).
Or we may just come back the way we came, which would be lame.

suppose nothing exists at all in a little hypothetical universe. none of the invisible crap you might have heard about exists, there is no matter, there is no light, there is no time. nothing but ether, pure and simple. what do you suppose would happen?

there is technically always the possibility that a five-dollar bill will materialize in my hand at any instant, but the odds of this happening are billions upon billions to one, and that's not even the spontaneous odds, those are the odds that some collection you have laying around of the billions and billions of appropriate atoms decides to form a fiver, meaning that one out of every 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times you throw all those atoms at one another, they'll happen to make you five bucks richer (the spontaneous odds probably hover around a googleplex-to-one, probably the only practical use of a googleplex). but none of that exists in the hypothetical universe, so what's going to happen? there are no more possibilities without the appropriate matter there to be shaped and to influence anything.

what happens (i think) is this: matter is spontaneously created, for no reason whatsoever except to fill the vacuum left in the absence of these possibilities. there is no passage of time (abstract concept that it is) in a universe devoid of anything to compare one instant to another, so matter is created instantly. one atom of any substance in the whole of the empty universe would prevent such an occurence, however, because as time passes, that atom would change. the easiest way to think of it is this: in empty space, the least likely thing to occur (the spontaneous creation of matter) will occur instantly. Not only is this the least likely thing to occur, but it's the only possible occurence in empty space. It happens instantly because there's no reason for it to wait around (remember that there is no time). anyways, that's what I think.

I also think that time is circular. assuming that there was a big bang, or whatever created our universe, then there must be an end to it. all matter will eventually be turned into energy, which will turn into different forms of energy, which will eventually be lost in the ether. now space is empty. completely devoid of anything. it starts all over again with the spontaneous creation of matter. the reason time is cirular is because there is no reason that anything will happen any differently the next time around. everything will occur exactly as it did the last time because there is no influence from anything else in the universe. this sort of defeats the idea of the possibilities of seemingly random occurences, but think about it - these possibilities are only possibilities in our minds. it's going to happen or it's not: only in my mind is there any doubt, and only in my mind is it identified as a possibility. it either is, or is not. with nothing around to influence things, these things will occur exactly as they did last time.

so imagine a hula-hoop. the crease where the plastic was sealed together to make the loop is the instant where time ends and begins again. think about that first sliver of plastic right there at the beginning of the loop - thats the big bang. as it winds around to itself again, matter is turning into energy and is being lost in the ether. the sliver of plastic right before you start over again is the instant that the last speck of matter is tranformed and lost, and then you begin again.

what if you could suspend yourself from this loop somehow? we are all linked to this loop because we are made of matter (duh), but what if we could hop into the ether somehow (or something) and just chill out and wait for the loop to pass underneath us? the hula hoop would spin around, and we would be suspended from all time and matter somewhere away from the universe. it would all happen again "underneath" us, and we could just hop back in any time we wanted. if we wanted to see the aliens who built the pyramids (if you're into that kinda thing), we could pop into the universe, check things out, pop back out, and ride the waves to our home time.

that's an interesting idea, really, but it isn't possible by the rules in our hypothetical universe. if we pop back in at any time that isn't the instant we left, we've just instated matter into the universe that was never there before, on any of the trips that the hula-hoop has ever taken. we would knock the hoop out of balance and it would never come around in the same way again, ever. you would never return to a "home-time" because you've destroyed it. it's like getting the little marble that's inside the hula-hoop to make noise wedged somewhere in the plastic. you broke the toy you bastard.

anyways, I had something else but i totally spaced right now. i've probably written this down before, too. just some stuff i like to think about.

oh yeah (addendum to idiot box, in which i remember the other thing):
i just read about this thing called the Brigg's Field (or some such vain-nomer). the idea is that particles of matter don't have mass, really, but actually atract little thingys that create mass as they pass through space. they are attracted to this particle and attach themselves to it as it slides by, thereby giving it weight, intertia and force and such things.

what makes me doubt that this actually works is a series of questions i had while i read the dealy-hoo. What causes the attraction? jamie foxx, how do you 'keep it real"? what happens when the matter is turned into energy - where do these weight-givers go? in addition to being divorced, you said you were a failure with men: you beautiful creature, how can you say that? why can only so many thingy's be attached to a particle at once? I want to talk about your own personal journey; when did you know, for sure, that you were a lesbian? wouldn't areas of space that are heavy with matter be devoid of these thingys, and then wouldnt matter have to "share" thingys, making it weigh less/have different force/whatever than other matter? as a young man as part of menudo, did you ever dream that one day you would be living 'la vida loca'? if these thingys need to return to a particular spot when the particle gets far enough away from the point where it collected that particular thingy, then what is the reason for it's permanent spot? is john travolta happy? why is Woody Harrelson so restless? why indeed.

people who do things they never bother to explain. this is only when the thing they did made no sense, obviously

people who bitch about things they never plan to or give ideas on how to change (i am obviously exempt from this one, because i'm kind of a dick)

indecisiveness

elitism (new #1, surpassing indecisiveness)

fakeness

bullshitters (not the hanky-panky bullshitters, but rather the pseudo-professional bullshitters. hanky-pankys are people who bullshit for fun, pseudo-pros bullshit for personal gain)

the rich

girls who don't even try to make sense

going to cheyenne tomorrow.

Incubus - Make Yourself. Best CD freakin ever



bonus.